School Life

 So hiiii guyssss... or no one. Haha no one reads these but whatever. I mainly do this for my future self anyway. So it's been a while. So Bill is still dating Jessie but it's cool. For a while, he had been acting like a massive asshole towards me again but he's cooled off. Oh yeah, he stopped doing streaks with me about 3 months ago. Then one month ago, he unadded me altogether. I was pissed at first but it's fine I guess. Jay and I are fairly chill. Uhm, we took the ACT for the first time the other day. I can't tell you how stressed out I am about that. Ever since we got our Pre-ACT scores back, and I made a 25, I've been super nervous. I know for a fact I completely bombed the Reading portion. Our proctor called 5 minutes left and I still had 12 questions left. I think I did fine on the other parts though. If I had to guess what score I made, I'd say I made anywhere from a 25-30. I have no idea when our scores will actually come in though. Not sure if I&#

 Yo so Bill is dating Jessie again. Isn't that funny. Huh. I thought he would have learned his lesson after the first time but nope. I just hope they're together because he needs a prom date. I swear to god if this dude actually still likes her I don't know what I'll do. Also, remember when I told you guys how Bill came to me when his girlfriend broke up with him. Well, now he's saying he broke up with her. Soooo... that's interesting.

Haha haven't done this in like 2 months. Well let's see. For our new TSA club, we had our study halls switched so we could work on our project for competition. We haven't really done anything g yet except screw around, code, and play with this airplane simulator we got. The only real people I have to talk to in this club are Bill and my ex boyfriend. I forgot if I've ever mentioned my ex boyfriend before so I'll just make up a new name for him. We'll call him Jay. I'm fairly comfortable around Jay now but for a while the sight of him pissed me off. I was fairly hormonal for a little bit last year a whenever I was on my period I would just develop a new crush. Well Jay started being really nice to me and I could tell he liked me so after like 4 days of talking we started dating. Now homeboy moved a little fast. He told me he loved after like day 2 and that he wanted to go to college with me and shit. Now to my defense I thought we were just gonna be fucking a

You know I've had crushes before but this one felt different. I could picture myself spending the rest of my life laughing with him. But no... he found someone else. And when I found out, I had this overwhelming feeling of sadness. Of rage. Of guilt. And uselessness. At first I thought this is just depression. But no, regular depression is somehow better than what I was feeling. With regular depression, you usually just feel empty. I wished I just felt empty. But instead it was like I was constantly having a panick attack and couldn't breathe. I felt like something significant in my life was missing and I needed to fix it. I felt like crying every time I saw something that reminded me of him. I cried because of an energy drink. I cried because of sun chips. I cried because of a deer I saw in the woods. I cried because of a pair of boots. I'm even crying now. Every morning when I woke up, for a split second I had forgotten everything bad and I was happy. But then I remembere

Sorry I haven't posted lately... even though literally no one reads these post and I really just do this as a diary for myself. So to catch up, I have recently become vice-president of TSA which the Technology Student Association. Not to be confused with the security at the airport. My engineering teacher has also asked me to join HOSA again this year, which I said yes to even though I kind of hate it. Although, I did get to pick my own group this time. But anyway that's besides the point. So for the past month or two, I had been working on getting closer to Bill... and it's been working. I finally felt like we actually might be more than friends pretty soon. That was until my friends told me something tragic. APPARENTLY, THIS ONE BITCH IS PROBABLY DATING BILL. HOW I DID NOT HEAR ABOUT THIS ASTOUNDS ME. So after all this time he was actually getting closer to this band fuck. Sorry ìf that offends anybody but I'm just upset right now and I'm placing my anger in the w

So today in engineering, I was sitting at my computer near these big tables and "xander", "robert", and "bill" were standing at the big tables talking and occasionally they'll say something funny that me and "gordan" will laugh at, and then xander all the sudden goes "I feel like bill and [My Name] would end up getting married" and I just pretended like I didn't hear it. But Bill didn't say a word like he didnt deny nor confirm anything, he just stood there. And Gordan and Robert are like "HAHAHAHA YEAH" and they're just all laughing while neither of us say a thing. I'm not sure what or if it means anything but I thought it was an interesting moment. I mean if he for sure didn't like me he would have said it right??